I Need New Conspiracy Theories Redacted Unisex Organic Sweatshirt

I need new conspiracy theories because all my old ones came true. How weird is it when your Normie friends who used to leave the room when you really got going now are spouting off how there are evil elites trafficking children or covert government ops working with corporations to enslave the masses with technocratic authoritarian policies? Hell, even the government admits UFOs now. What's even left after Alex Jones can even laugh, "I told you so?"

Things are getting weird.

I guess there are still shape-shifting lizard people and COVID-19 vaccine depopulation schemes. Wait, no, Jim in accounting was already posting that shit on Facebook. Damn it.

The Unisex organic sweatshirt is made of organic and recycled materials, and feels soft and cozy to the touch. It has set-in sleeves, 2×2 rib at collar, and a self-fabric neck tape. Order your next eco-friendly essential and hit the streets in style!

• 80% organic cotton, 20% recycled polyester
• 100% organic cotton exterior
• Frenchy terry knit
• Set-in sleeves
• 2×2 rib at collar
• Self-fabric neck tape

Size guide

	CHEST WIDTH (inches)	BODY LENGTH (inches)
S	20 ⅛	26 ¾
M	21 ¼	27 ½
L	22 ½	28 ⅜
XL	23 ⅝	29 ⅛
XXL	24 ¾	29 ⅞

	CHEST WIDTH (cm)	BODY LENGTH (cm)
S	51	68
M	54	70
L	57	72
XL	60	74
XXL	63	76